Etiquette

RSVP – French for “Repondez s’il vous plait” or, in plain English, “Please reply”. These little letters are the not-so-secret code that you should call or write your host within a day or two of receiving an invitation to let him know if you can attend or not. All invitations have some sort of a reply mechanism – an enclosed card, a phone number, an email address or a mailing address. A prompt reply is a basic courtesy. (Taken from emilypost.com)

Why has it become so hard for us to pick up the phone and respond to a party invitation?  Or write a thank you card?  Or be even a tad courteous of people in general?

I recently had a birthday party for my son (those of you paying attention will recall his birthday is in December.  We don’t do December parties – too much else going on).  The Captain wanted his party at the bowling alley – complete with bowling, mini-golf, arcade, pizza, and soda.  We had to provide only the cake.  So, we needed to know how many children: 1) so the bowling alley knew how much pizza to provide and how many lanes would be needed. 2) so I knew what size cake to buy. (I baked him a cake on his real birthday.  Don’t judge.) 3) so I knew how many favors to put together (I had extra time since I didn’t bake a cake.) 4) so I knew how many quarters to bring so they all could play arcade games.  Let’s just say on the day of his party, I had NO IDEA how many children would be coming.

The first time I experienced this was when  I was sitting in the limo outside the church on my wedding day.  I watched my husband-to-be’s uncle, aunt, 3 cousins and a date for each cousin strolling up the sidewalk toward the church.  Beyond the fact that the dates weren’t even invited, none of them had RSVP’d.  None.  8 extra people.  That was a whole table!  Where were they going to sit? How much more were we going to have to pay the caterer?

Since then, there have been numerous showers, christenings, and birthday parties that I’ve hosted or helped host.  Every single time, we run into the RSVP problem.  We never really know how many people to plan on because so few actually take the time to respond.

It’s a basic courtesy. 

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.  If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.  ~Emily Post

 

Spicoli

Our yellow lab has a drug problem.

Let me start from the beginning.  He’s always been a bit, um, high strung.  Loud noises bother him – especially thunder.  A thunder storm usually finds him crouched beneath my desk.

Lately, however, he has gotten MUCH worse.  Along with the crouching comes shaking.  And panting.  And drooling.  And vomit.  Oh yes.  He has himself worked into such a tizzy that his stomach gets upset and he throws up.  But that’s only if he eats in the first place which he only does if the Postman is kneeling beside him, coaxing him – because OH MY GOD I THINK IT MIGHT BE THUNDERING IN BRAZIL.

This last week has brought a steady stream of evening thunder showers – with no signs of it letting up in at least the next week, according to radar.  The Postman decided to ask the vet if they had tranquilizers for just such an occasion.  They provided us with 2 pills because a) he needs a check up so they will give us more at his appointment, and b) they want to make sure they work before they give us a larger supply.  They work.

The Postman gave him one the other night while the kids and I were out.  When we walked in the house about 1/2 an hour later, he had trouble standing when he came out to greet us.  Half an hour after that he had to be LIFTED on to the bed, where he promptly passed out.  2 hours later he could not rouse himself enough to even stand to go out to pee before we went to bed.  The Postman lifted him off the bed, set him on the floor, and he slumped to the ground.  We rolled him onto a blanket and went to bed.

Except I couldn’t sleep.  Because what if he didn’t come out of it?  What if we killed our dog with tranquilizers?  Oh my god, how would we tell the kids?  So I was up, checking on him, and bringing him water – because we all know how muck mouth can set it when we are stoned.  I mean…nevermind.  He would lift his head to drink a few sips, then rest his chin on the edge of the bowl as if it was just too much effort to set it back down on the blanket.  Finally, at 3:00AM we heard him stir and stand up.  He went outside to pee and stumbled back up the steps.  He went to his usual sleeping spot on the floor on my side of the bed. 

By the time morning came, he was almost himself again – at least able to stand and walk and wag his tail.

We’re going with half a pill next time.

Oh…and did I mention that we DID get a thunder storm that night?  He didn’t care – he was too stoned.

All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine. ~ Jeff Spicoli, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

 

Summertime and the livin’

Ok.  So I’ve been on hiatus.  The last week or two have been too much.  I touched on it briefly in my last post.  I’ve had meetings with other mothers, parent groups, teachers, principals, and administrators.  And I think we’re good.  Finally.

But my friend, L-weed.  Is not good.  She is going through a terrible time.  It involves a man, and his inability to come to terms with choices he’s made.  So he waffles and changes his mind and it is at the expense of her heart.  She called me last night, crying.  My instinct at this point is to call him and tell him if he can’t commit to her then he needs to leave her alone.  Completely.  Stop calling her to tell her he loves her and misses her…only to say a few days later “I can’t do this”.  It’s not fair to her.  But she loves him.  And I know it’s not my place to call him and say that – as much as I want to.  I know things will smooth out for her eventually…but it tears me up to watch her go through this.  She is one of the kindest, most beautiful people I have ever known.  She deserves so much better than what she has had…if only she believed that as well.

So be happy and grateful for what you have.  Enjoy the summer.  Look at the beach, the lake, the mountains, the sunrise and the sunset and be thankful for the good things in your life and do something to change the bad.

Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal.  It’s a way to live.  ~Jackie Windspear

Say what you need to say

I need to write today, but I can’t wrap my head around what I want to say quite yet.  There are problems in school/baseball, the boys aren’t getting along.  It’s the end of the year – 3 1/2 days left – and we’re just trying to make it through to summer.  Everyone just needs a break I think.

So, instead, a Thursday thirteen for you.

Thirteen of my favorite songs:

1.  Colorful (Steel Dragon) – I’m a sucker for sappy lyrics.  “You are more beautiful when you awake than most are in a lifetime”

2.  Faithfully (Journey) - This song reminds me of my friend, Drummer Boy.  I don’t know why…I don’t remember what connects the two.  But I smile when I hear it.  Drummer Boy and I listened to the entire Rush 2112 album one night and he explained the entire story to me as we listened.  Still not a big Rush fan though.  Sorry, DB!

3.  Canon in D (Pachelbel) – I heard my grandfather practice this piece repeatedly one summer in preparation for a wedding.  I was probably 10 or 12 and I decided that I wanted him to play that at MY wedding.  He did, and it was beautiful.  I think of him every time I hear it. 

4.  In Your Eyes (Peter Gabriel) – I know.  Juvenile.  But I loved all those 80’s teen flicks and the image of Lloyd standing outside with the boom box over his head playing this song for Diane?  Gets me every time.

5.  Anything by Dave Matthews Band – The soundtrack for the movie we saw in the Omni Theater on the Boston field trip was by them.  I was thrilled and frankly, it made the whole movie about the river MUCH more interesting!

6.  Brown Eyed Girl (Van Morrison) – Early on in our relationship I asked the Postman what his favorite song was.  Ever the slick one, he replied “whatever song is playing the first time we make love.”  After a little more prodding, he decided on this one.  I’ll be damned if it didn’t play the first time…which made us both laugh, and I think that’s when the deal closed.   So I have to add it to my favorites, don’t you think?

7.  You Are the Love of My Life (Jim Brickman and Michael W. Smith) – The Postman sent this to my e-mail once – just the link to the song – when we were going through a rough patch.  Now it makes me cry.  Good tears.

8.  Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond) – What can I say?  I’m a Sox fan.

9.  Crazy Train (Ozzy) – My son LOVED this song when he was a toddler.  I’m not even sure how or when he first heard it, but I think of that little baby voice singing what he thought the words were.

10.  Photograph (Def Leppard) – I’m an 80’s girl.  “I wanna touch you!”

11.  Shakin’ (Eddie Money) – There’s a definite 80’s vibe going on in this list, isn’t there?  Who can listen to this song and not move? 

12.  Classical Guitar (Eric Clapton) – Not much to say about this one except I think it’s beautiful.

13.  December 1963 (Oh, What A Night) (Frankie Valle and the Four Seasons) – Again, who can hear this and not move and sing?  It’s FUN!

That’s it folks.  Happy Thursday!

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. ~Victor Hugo
 

 

Oh hi! I’m right here, come on in!

How does nearly a week go by without my even realizing it?  About twenty times a day I think “I need to go write something….” and then the thought is gone as quickly as it came.

So….the field trip.  From hell.  It wasn’t all bad – I will get to the good part in a minute – but it was too L-O-N-G.  The whole point of leaving so early, as I understood it, was to prevent the feeling of being rushed through the day – but it didn’t work.  We raced through our day and had a busload of tired, cranky kids (and parents!) on the way home. 

The best part of the day was this:

Our tour of Fenway Park.  Unfortunately, there was no chance I’d actually *see* Varitek since the team was in Baltimore.  But still.  We had a super tour guide named Ed.  Although we were not allowed on the field level, we still had a nice tour of the Right Field Roof deck, the luxury suites, the press box, the Green Monster, and the grandstand.  While in the press box, we were able to sit and listen to Ed tell us a lot of history about Fenway Park.  He would ask questions, and I knew almost every answer – he stopped picking me to answer after the first couple.  The only answer I didn’t know was the date Ted Williams hit his record home run.  I thought it was 1947 – turns out, it was 1946.  When the tour was over, I shook our guide’s hand and thanked him and he said “Stay such a good fan – you know everything!”  Of course, the Diva rolled her eyes dramatically which made him laugh.

Two new facts I learned about Fenway:  The color of the Green Monster, literally named Green Monster Green, is trademarked and not available for purchase by anyone outside of a handful of Fenway employees.  Although there is a color available for general purchase that comes close, Fenway Green, it is not exactly the same.  Fact number two:  Tom and Jean Yawkey had their initials in morse code painted on two of the vertical white lines on the scoreboard.  I tried taking a picture of them but since I’m not allowed to use the “good camera” unless surrounded by mattresses and pillows (due to my um, lack of grace), I had to use the old outdated model that doesn’t zoom for crap.  So it really just looks like I was taking a picture of the scoreboard.  I can see the little dashes and dots on the white lines but only because I know what to look for and where.  Anyone else?  Not so much.

Here is the Diva (the blonde one) looking less than thrilled to be sitting on the Green Monster:

Sometimes I wonder how this non-baseball lover could be my child?!  I mean, I WAS under general anesthesia when she was born…and because there was no coaching to be done under the circumstances, her dad wasn’t in the delivery room either.  If it wasn’t for the fact that she’s like me IN EVERY OTHER WAY, I think I might have a case against the hospital.

After Fenway, it was on to The Museum of Science.  This is when our scheduling took a turn for the worse.  Eat lunch on the bus.  Have about 45 minutes in the museum before all meeting up for the electricity show.  Have another hour or so before meeting up again for the show in the Omni Theater.  Then about another hour before boarding the bus for the return trip home.  It just wasn’t enough time to see all there is to see in the museum.  I was in charge of two girls – the Diva and one of her friends – and they wanted to see it all!  We raced here and there and back to here – until I suggested that perhaps it would be a better use of their time to see everything they wanted to on one floor before moving on to the next.  When we got back on the bus, I heard conversations between the kids consisting of alot of “DId you see…?”  “No, but did you see…?”  “No, where was that?”.  It made me realize just how much EVERYONE seemed to miss, but they were so pressed for time that there was no avoiding it, I guess.

In  other news:  The Captain got his first little league hit.  His first hit not pitched by a coach in Farm League.  His first hit that got him on base.  Where was I, you ask?  Doing my time in the snack shack.  Every parent has to do 6 innings in the concession stand.  Our team chooses to do 3 innings at a time so we don’t miss a whole game.  I did the first three innings of the game, and got back to my chair at the top of the 4th, to see my son standing on first base.  Jokingly I said “Oh no – my kid’s on base – did he get hit again?”  I was assured by the other parents that he did not, but no one gave me any other information.  In fact, MY SON didn’t even tell me until later that evening.  He had waited so long to tell me, and he is somewhat of an imp, that I didn’t even believe him at first!  His coach, our pharmacist, did re-tell the story when he saw the Postman in the store the next day so I guess I have to admit that I did indeed miss his big moment.  Yet another example of how I rock.

This is what happens when I don’t write for so long…so I’ll end for now.

Hope all is good in your worlds!

All mothers are working mothers. ~Author Unknown