This is too much for words.

Truth be told, it really wasn’t a conservative article so y’all can just pick your jaws up off the floor now.  It WAS, however, an article written by Mickey Edwards - the author of Reclaiming Conservatism.  He is a former Republican congressman from Oklahoma.

The article I speak of may or may not have been in the August 2008 edition of Playboy.  When I tried locating the article online so I could link to it, I could not find it.  I did find other articles though and I was pleasantly surprised at a lot of what he has to say in regards to our upcoming election.  It might be worth a Google, if that’s the sort of stuff that interests you.

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.  ~Richard Armour

I have been among the missing for awhile. 

We were on vacation last week and work was crazy this week!  Sometimes working from home takes up more hours than if I just went into the office!

So here is a bullet post.

• We rented a big-ass dumpster the week we were on vacation and filled the ENTIRE thing!  We are still waiting for the total bill.
• When planning a trip to Sam’s, it is helpful for one of us to have a Margarita or seven before we go.  If I have the Margaritas, then I don’t care that we walk up and down every single aisle and I don’t bitch.  If the Postman has the Margaritas then he doesn’t care if I am bitching.  This has worked twice for us so far.
• I am typing this on my brand new fancy schmancy Toshiba laptop.  It has taken me about 47 million hours because I keep hitting keys that take me to weird places on the page.  Technologically sound I am not.  I am also prone to exaggeration.
• I have done something to my neck and it is hurting like crazy!  I should take something and try to lay down, but I am too enthralled with my new laptop.  Plus laying (lying?  I never get that one right) down really makes it hurt more.

That’s it for now.  I’ll be back soon (er)!

No man needs a vacation so much as the person who just had one. ~ Elbert Hubbard

Last night I was convinced I was either hallucinating or there were aliens tracking my every move via my dog.

I was very restless after going to bed so I was about to get up and use the bathroom, get a drink of water, flip my pillow to the cool side…but as I was rolling over and opening my eyes I saw a flash of light in our bedroom. I reached for my glasses (because I am blind as a bat without them)…took a look around the room, looked out the window and saw nothing. Except out of the corner of my eye - another flash.

WTF?

I got back in bed, and contemplated my next move. This is the point at which I thought I might be hallucinating. I have been fighting a migraine for a couple of days, and I had taken two pain pills over the course of the last two days. Since we have a habit of overmedicating here at Casa Crazy, I thought maybe I had overdone the pain pills. 

As the flashes continued, I tried to pinpoint where they were coming from.  I realized one was RIGHT NEXT TO ME ON THE BED.  Except…it seemed to be coming from under the covers…where the Hairless Chinese Crested sleeps.  (Yeah…he sleeps with us, under the covers…all the dogs sleep with us because we’re idiots and they are spoiled.  Don’t judge.  He’s the only one who sleeps under the covers because, well, he has no hair.)  So anyway…the dog is flashing.  Aliens have planted a tracking device in our dog - which, if you’ve seen him IRL, makes PERFECT sense and explains a lot.

Did I mention I haven’t been sleeping well AND I’ve been fighting a migraine?  It’s time to call in the big guns.

Me:  Honey, are you awake?  (Shaking him just in case he isn’t…)

P-Man:  What?  What’s wrong?  What is it?

Me:  There’s lights flashing in our room.

P-Man:  Huh?

Me:  Flashes. Of. Lights. In. Our. Room.  Just wait - you’ll see one.

Cricket, cricket, cricket.

Me:  There!  Did you see that?  And here!  On our bed - another one!

Him: Yeah.  (He reaches over for the light now)

Him:  It’s a lightning bug.

Me:  No.  No it isn’t.  It wasn’t just in one spot.  Except for the one under the covers which is clearly an implanted tracking device.

Him:  No, it’s lightning bugs.  (As he reached out and traps one that is flying by…and turns back the covers to reveal the one on the back of the dog….)

Me:  Oh.  Um.  Well.  Look at that!  Lightning bugs!  Heh heh heh.  Um…sorry for waking you up for that.

Him:  Goodnight honey.

I am such a loser.

Light comes to us unexpectedly and obliquely.  Perhaps it amuses the gods to try us.  They want to see whether we are asleep.  ~H.M. Tomlinson

I covet this:

It’s a Kindle.  Go here to check it out.

It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.  ~Oscar Wilde

So I am JUST NOW in my laundry room (at 8:45PM), which also doubles as our side entry, when I hear a tap, tap, tap at the door.  Great.  The light is on, and just the screen door is open at the moment.  Someone is obviously at home.

It was a kid - maybe 18 or 19.  He is on some sort of scholarship  donation quest - improving his public speaking and finding out what people do for jobs so that he is MOTIVATED for next year - and “oh yeah, would you like to contribute?”.  I practically had to push this kid off my doorstep after I said “no thank you, but good luck” and he continued talking and trying to get me to donate.  Clearly his approach was just to keep talking until I paid him to go away.  Or pushed him off my doorstep.  I didn’t push him, but I DID walk in the house and close the door.  Look, I’m patient ONCE.  Don’t press your luck with me.

I cannot stand people who come to my door to solicit.  Be it scholarships, sales, or churches.  I did not ask you to come here and try to solicit money or anything else from me.  If I want to donate to a cause, I will do so.  One that I’ve researched and feel compelled to give to - not just some random organization that some kid standing on my doorstep - with no documentation - tells me to.  If I want new windows, frozen food, steaks, or a new pool (::snicker:: that makes it seem like we even have an OLD pool)…I will buy it when I want to and when I’m ready - not because someone has appeared on my doorstep to persuade me to do so.

And don’t even get me started on the church thing.  I am not religious, although I was raised Catholic.  I feel I lead a good life and organized religion just doesn’t hold a place in my life right now.  Might that change?  Who knows…never say never.  On average, we get at least one visit a week from members of local (and maybe not so local) churches.  You know what I do?  I hide.  And I let the dogs bark at the door like the little balls of fluff  mad guard dogs that they are.  So I get the little brochures tucked into my door for me to find later.   I am probably on the fast track to hell.

So does that even work?  Really?  How many people drop whatever it is they are doing at the moment said sales/scholarship/religious person show up at their doorstep and proclaim “THANK YOU!  I HAVE JUST BEEN WAITING FOR YOU, OH SWEET STEAK SALESMAN!  How happy I am that you are finally here and I don’t have to trek three miles to that pesky grocery store.  I hope the baked potato salesman shows up soon.”  

I know I may have offended since I threw the religious card in.  Please don’t take it personally.  I am way cool with religion - it’s just not for me at this point in life.  They probably annoy me because of that lingering Catholic guilt that screams in my head “you should go to church (and take your children) you heathen!” - and they give it an external voice when they show up.

There are no facts, only interpretations.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche

RSVP – French for “Repondez s’il vous plait” or, in plain English, “Please reply”. These little letters are the not-so-secret code that you should call or write your host within a day or two of receiving an invitation to let him know if you can attend or not. All invitations have some sort of a reply mechanism – an enclosed card, a phone number, an email address or a mailing address. A prompt reply is a basic courtesy. (Taken from emilypost.com)

Why has it become so hard for us to pick up the phone and respond to a party invitation?  Or write a thank you card?  Or be even a tad courteous of people in general?

I recently had a birthday party for my son (those of you paying attention will recall his birthday is in December.  We don’t do December parties - too much else going on).  The Captain wanted his party at the bowling alley - complete with bowling, mini-golf, arcade, pizza, and soda.  We had to provide only the cake.  So, we needed to know how many children: 1) so the bowling alley knew how much pizza to provide and how many lanes would be needed. 2) so I knew what size cake to buy. (I baked him a cake on his real birthday.  Don’t judge.) 3) so I knew how many favors to put together (I had extra time since I didn’t bake a cake.) 4) so I knew how many quarters to bring so they all could play arcade games.  Let’s just say on the day of his party, I had NO IDEA how many children would be coming.

The first time I experienced this was when  I was sitting in the limo outside the church on my wedding day.  I watched my husband-to-be’s uncle, aunt, 3 cousins and a date for each cousin strolling up the sidewalk toward the church.  Beyond the fact that the dates weren’t even invited, none of them had RSVP’d.  None.  8 extra people.  That was a whole table!  Where were they going to sit? How much more were we going to have to pay the caterer?

Since then, there have been numerous showers, christenings, and birthday parties that I’ve hosted or helped host.  Every single time, we run into the RSVP problem.  We never really know how many people to plan on because so few actually take the time to respond.

It’s a basic courtesy. 

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.  If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.  ~Emily Post

Our yellow lab has a drug problem.

Let me start from the beginning.  He’s always been a bit, um, high strung.  Loud noises bother him - especially thunder.  A thunder storm usually finds him crouched beneath my desk.

Lately, however, he has gotten MUCH worse.  Along with the crouching comes shaking.  And panting.  And drooling.  And vomit.  Oh yes.  He has himself worked into such a tizzy that his stomach gets upset and he throws up.  But that’s only if he eats in the first place which he only does if the Postman is kneeling beside him, coaxing him - because OH MY GOD I THINK IT MIGHT BE THUNDERING IN BRAZIL.

This last week has brought a steady stream of evening thunder showers - with no signs of it letting up in at least the next week, according to radar.  The Postman decided to ask the vet if they had tranquilizers for just such an occasion.  They provided us with 2 pills because a) he needs a check up so they will give us more at his appointment, and b) they want to make sure they work before they give us a larger supply.  They work.

The Postman gave him one the other night while the kids and I were out.  When we walked in the house about 1/2 an hour later, he had trouble standing when he came out to greet us.  Half an hour after that he had to be LIFTED on to the bed, where he promptly passed out.  2 hours later he could not rouse himself enough to even stand to go out to pee before we went to bed.  The Postman lifted him off the bed, set him on the floor, and he slumped to the ground.  We rolled him onto a blanket and went to bed.

Except I couldn’t sleep.  Because what if he didn’t come out of it?  What if we killed our dog with tranquilizers?  Oh my god, how would we tell the kids?  So I was up, checking on him, and bringing him water - because we all know how muck mouth can set it when we are stoned.  I mean…nevermind.  He would lift his head to drink a few sips, then rest his chin on the edge of the bowl as if it was just too much effort to set it back down on the blanket.  Finally, at 3:00AM we heard him stir and stand up.  He went outside to pee and stumbled back up the steps.  He went to his usual sleeping spot on the floor on my side of the bed. 

By the time morning came, he was almost himself again - at least able to stand and walk and wag his tail.

We’re going with half a pill next time.

Oh…and did I mention that we DID get a thunder storm that night?  He didn’t care - he was too stoned.

All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine. ~ Jeff Spicoli, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Ok.  So I’ve been on hiatus.  The last week or two have been too much.  I touched on it briefly in my last post.  I’ve had meetings with other mothers, parent groups, teachers, principals, and administrators.  And I think we’re good.  Finally.

But my friend, L-weed.  Is not good.  She is going through a terrible time.  It involves a man, and his inability to come to terms with choices he’s made.  So he waffles and changes his mind and it is at the expense of her heart.  She called me last night, crying.  My instinct at this point is to call him and tell him if he can’t commit to her then he needs to leave her alone.  Completely.  Stop calling her to tell her he loves her and misses her…only to say a few days later “I can’t do this”.  It’s not fair to her.  But she loves him.  And I know it’s not my place to call him and say that - as much as I want to.  I know things will smooth out for her eventually…but it tears me up to watch her go through this.  She is one of the kindest, most beautiful people I have ever known.  She deserves so much better than what she has had…if only she believed that as well.

So be happy and grateful for what you have.  Enjoy the summer.  Look at the beach, the lake, the mountains, the sunrise and the sunset and be thankful for the good things in your life and do something to change the bad.

Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal.  It’s a way to live.  ~Jackie Windspear

I need to write today, but I can’t wrap my head around what I want to say quite yet.  There are problems in school/baseball, the boys aren’t getting along.  It’s the end of the year - 3 1/2 days left - and we’re just trying to make it through to summer.  Everyone just needs a break I think.

So, instead, a Thursday thirteen for you.

Thirteen of my favorite songs:

1.  Colorful (Steel Dragon) - I’m a sucker for sappy lyrics.  “You are more beautiful when you awake than most are in a lifetime”

2.  Faithfully (Journey) - This song reminds me of my friend, Drummer Boy.  I don’t know why…I don’t remember what connects the two.  But I smile when I hear it.  Drummer Boy and I listened to the entire Rush 2112 album one night and he explained the entire story to me as we listened.  Still not a big Rush fan though.  Sorry, DB!

3.  Canon in D (Pachelbel) - I heard my grandfather practice this piece repeatedly one summer in preparation for a wedding.  I was probably 10 or 12 and I decided that I wanted him to play that at MY wedding.  He did, and it was beautiful.  I think of him every time I hear it. 

4.  In Your Eyes (Peter Gabriel) - I know.  Juvenile.  But I loved all those 80’s teen flicks and the image of Lloyd standing outside with the boom box over his head playing this song for Diane?  Gets me every time.

5.  Anything by Dave Matthews Band - The soundtrack for the movie we saw in the Omni Theater on the Boston field trip was by them.  I was thrilled and frankly, it made the whole movie about the river MUCH more interesting!

6.  Brown Eyed Girl (Van Morrison) - Early on in our relationship I asked the Postman what his favorite song was.  Ever the slick one, he replied “whatever song is playing the first time we make love.”  After a little more prodding, he decided on this one.  I’ll be damned if it didn’t play the first time…which made us both laugh, and I think that’s when the deal closed.   So I have to add it to my favorites, don’t you think?

7.  You Are the Love of My Life (Jim Brickman and Michael W. Smith) - The Postman sent this to my e-mail once - just the link to the song - when we were going through a rough patch.  Now it makes me cry.  Good tears.

8.  Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond) - What can I say?  I’m a Sox fan.

9.  Crazy Train (Ozzy) - My son LOVED this song when he was a toddler.  I’m not even sure how or when he first heard it, but I think of that little baby voice singing what he thought the words were.

10.  Photograph (Def Leppard) - I’m an 80’s girl.  “I wanna touch you!”

11.  Shakin’ (Eddie Money) - There’s a definite 80’s vibe going on in this list, isn’t there?  Who can listen to this song and not move? 

12.  Classical Guitar (Eric Clapton) - Not much to say about this one except I think it’s beautiful.

13.  December 1963 (Oh, What A Night) (Frankie Valle and the Four Seasons) - Again, who can hear this and not move and sing?  It’s FUN!

That’s it folks.  Happy Thursday!

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. ~Victor Hugo