P-Man and I went to a Christmas party/Open House at my friend J’s house last night. A drink was offered when we arrived, and P-Man and I are fairly social so we each had one. Then I had a shot of Fire Water. Then I had another shot of Fire Water. Luckily P-man stopped at one beer and he was driving us home. I am not a big drinker, never was. I like a glass of wine on occasion but that’s about where it ends. Oh, there was my early twenties….sowing my wild oats and all. But overall, I’ve never been a big drinker. So a mixed drink and two shots is a lot for me. We had a nice time though.
Today we visited with P-Man’s parents for a bit. I came away not feeling great about the visit, and it’s something that has been bothering me for awhile. I ma not sure what I am going to do, how I’m going to do it, or even IF I will do it.
P-Man was an only child for 5 years before his brother came along. His brother is a giant baby. He is babied by his mother and his wife. No one disputes this, so I am not bashing anyone with that statement. Their mother told me once in conversation that the reason she babies the brother is because she didn’t want him when she was pregnant and after he was first born. It was her and P-Man for 5 years and she was happy and wanted it to stay that way. Then came baby brother. And after not wanting him, she felt guilty and then started overcompensating. And P-Man got sort of pushed to the side as she overcompensated her feelings for baby brother. She told me during that conversation that she thought P-Man resented her. I didn’t really know how to respond because I don’t know if he does or not. BUT – she continues to baby the brother…AND she is mean to P-Man.
Baby brother has been sick – with a cold – for over a week. He hasn’t gone to work and to hear his mother tell it, he is pretty near death. Well, Brother LOVES his computer…he has his computer room and P-Man and I sometimes laugh when we drive by (we all live on the same street) because the computer room light will be on, and his wife’s car will be gone. They rarely do anything together and we find that a bit odd and humorous at the same time. Whatever works for them is how we look at it. But I digress. Anyway…Friday night we were out and as we drove up the street toward home P-Man said “T’s computer room light is on…” and as we drove by the house and the driveway became visible, I continued “…and C’s car is gone!” The same thing happened last night when we came home from the Christmas party.
So today, I asked if their mom if T was still sick because I noticed his car was in the driveway all week long. His mom started telling us how sick he was and that he hadn’t gotten out of bed all week. P-Man said “well at least he feels good enough to be on his computer” to which his mother replied “Shut up asshole, he hasn’t been on it.” P-Man said “Yes he has” and I agreed telling her that both nights we noticed his computer room light on. She didn’t really respond to that, but it really bothered me that she felt the need to call P-Man an asshole just because he stated that T was well enough to be on his computer. If she really felt like P-Man resented her for how she treats him and his brother, then why would she continue to be that way? It was almost as though she was mad that P-Man implied that T wasn’t as sick as she was trying to make him out to be.
I looked at P-Man and slid my hand into his, and we left not long after that. It makes me so angry that P-Man would do anything, ANYTHING for his parents…yet his mother treats him like that. I almost think that his mother resents him for being so independent and not needing her like his brother did/does. It’s crazy and I don’t know how much longer I can sit by and say nothing. I have decided that I will not say anything to her in her own home…but if a conversation like that takes place here I will kindly ask her to not talk that way about ANYONE while in our home.
I didn’t really mean for this to be a big bitch session; I didn’t intend for the blog to be about such personal issues. But, I do feel somewhat better after – writing is cathartic!
On a lighter note, the Diva’s birthday is tomorrow. Unfortunately it is a travel day for work, but I am planning a short day in the office so I can be home for dinner. Someone at the office is not happy about that, but I will not miss dinner with my family on my daughter’s special day!
Family is just accident…. They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are. ~Marsha Norman