Our yellow lab has a drug problem.
Let me start from the beginning. He’s always been a bit, um, high strung. Loud noises bother him – especially thunder. A thunder storm usually finds him crouched beneath my desk.
Lately, however, he has gotten MUCH worse. Along with the crouching comes shaking. And panting. And drooling. And vomit. Oh yes. He has himself worked into such a tizzy that his stomach gets upset and he throws up. But that’s only if he eats in the first place which he only does if the Postman is kneeling beside him, coaxing him – because OH MY GOD I THINK IT MIGHT BE THUNDERING IN BRAZIL.
This last week has brought a steady stream of evening thunder showers – with no signs of it letting up in at least the next week, according to radar. The Postman decided to ask the vet if they had tranquilizers for just such an occasion. They provided us with 2 pills because a) he needs a check up so they will give us more at his appointment, and b) they want to make sure they work before they give us a larger supply. They work.
The Postman gave him one the other night while the kids and I were out. When we walked in the house about 1/2 an hour later, he had trouble standing when he came out to greet us. Half an hour after that he had to be LIFTED on to the bed, where he promptly passed out. 2 hours later he could not rouse himself enough to even stand to go out to pee before we went to bed. The Postman lifted him off the bed, set him on the floor, and he slumped to the ground. We rolled him onto a blanket and went to bed.
Except I couldn’t sleep. Because what if he didn’t come out of it? What if we killed our dog with tranquilizers? Oh my god, how would we tell the kids? So I was up, checking on him, and bringing him water – because we all know how muck mouth can set it when we are stoned. I mean…nevermind. He would lift his head to drink a few sips, then rest his chin on the edge of the bowl as if it was just too much effort to set it back down on the blanket. Finally, at 3:00AM we heard him stir and stand up. He went outside to pee and stumbled back up the steps. He went to his usual sleeping spot on the floor on my side of the bed.
By the time morning came, he was almost himself again – at least able to stand and walk and wag his tail.
We’re going with half a pill next time.
Oh…and did I mention that we DID get a thunder storm that night? He didn’t care – he was too stoned.
All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine. ~ Jeff Spicoli, Fast Times at Ridgemont High