Last night I was convinced I was either hallucinating or there were aliens tracking my every move via my dog.
I was very restless after going to bed so I was about to get up and use the bathroom, get a drink of water, flip my pillow to the cool side…but as I was rolling over and opening my eyes I saw a flash of light in our bedroom. I reached for my glasses (because I am blind as a bat without them)…took a look around the room, looked out the window and saw nothing. Except out of the corner of my eye – another flash.
I got back in bed, and contemplated my next move. This is the point at which I thought I might be hallucinating. I have been fighting a migraine for a couple of days, and I had taken two pain pills over the course of the last two days. Since we have a habit of overmedicating here at Casa Crazy, I thought maybe I had overdone the pain pills.
As the flashes continued, I tried to pinpoint where they were coming from. I realized one was RIGHT NEXT TO ME ON THE BED. Except…it seemed to be coming from under the covers…where the Hairless Chinese Crested sleeps. (Yeah…he sleeps with us, under the covers…all the dogs sleep with us because we’re idiots and they are spoiled. Don’t judge. He’s the only one who sleeps under the covers because, well, he has no hair.) So anyway…the dog is flashing. Aliens have planted a tracking device in our dog – which, if you’ve seen him IRL, makes PERFECT sense and explains a lot.
Did I mention I haven’t been sleeping well AND I’ve been fighting a migraine? It’s time to call in the big guns.
Me: Honey, are you awake? (Shaking him just in case he isn’t…)
P-Man: What? What’s wrong? What is it?
Me: There’s lights flashing in our room.
Me: Flashes. Of. Lights. In. Our. Room. Just wait – you’ll see one.
Cricket, cricket, cricket.
Me: There! Did you see that? And here! On our bed – another one!
Him: Yeah. (He reaches over for the light now)
Him: It’s a lightning bug.
Me: No. No it isn’t. It wasn’t just in one spot. Except for the one under the covers which is clearly an implanted tracking device.
Him: No, it’s lightning bugs. (As he reached out and traps one that is flying by…and turns back the covers to reveal the one on the back of the dog….)
Me: Oh. Um. Well. Look at that! Lightning bugs! Heh heh heh. Um…sorry for waking you up for that.
Him: Goodnight honey.
I am such a loser.
Light comes to us unexpectedly and obliquely. Perhaps it amuses the gods to try us. They want to see whether we are asleep. ~H.M. Tomlinson