I mentioned the other day that the kids are with their dad right now.
I was on the phone with my father and he asked what the Postman and I planned on doing while they were gone. I ran through all the options in my head: Clean the house, cook food we know they don’t like, make and eat snacks all by ourselves without having to share, watch what we want on TV, sleep late. I decided to sum it up for him by saying “Oh, you know. Stuff we can’t really do with the kids around.” Which then totally sounded like I was saying “We’re going to have sex and lots of it.” So I stumbled over my words a bit and went on to say something like “I mean…clean the house and make food they don’t like and stuff…” which then totally sounded like I was trying to COVER UP the fact that I think I just told my dad that I have sex.
Which he wouldn’t believe anyway. I’m pretty sure even though he is not Catholic, when it comes to me he is certain – or hoping – my children were immaculate conceptions.
I’m off to have sex clean the house.