The fair is in town. Do you know how much I HATE the fair? No? I would rather have my eyes gouged out with a hot poker than attend then fair. The kids LOVE the fair. So I, as their mother, dutifully haul my ass down to the fairgrounds with them.
As we are walking in, they are pointing skyward at all the thrill rides they are going to go on.
Them: WHY NOT, MOM?
Me: Have you SEEN the people who erect these rides?
I used to love fairs, amusement parks, and thrill rides. Then I became a mother and started paying attention to my surroundings so I could protect my young. And I realized all the dangers that come with those activities. From the attendants on the kiddie rides with the cigarettes dangling from their lips as they offer to strap my child in (“Touch my child, dude, and I WILL cut you.”), to the young attendants running the thrill rides. I use the term “running” loosely as they are too busy checking out the girls walking around with short shorts and tank tops.
This is what our day looked like:
My kids love when I get all anxiety ridden.
I leave you with this:
I’ve seen this transfer on at least two vehicles around town. Do you think Tink looks just a wee bit like a porn star here? No? It’s just me? Ok then.
Tinkerbell: Every time someone says ‘I do not believe in fairies’, somewhere there’s a fairy that falls down dead. (Hook)