Send your spare Xanax and Grey Goose

The Diva is a teenager today.

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Equestrian.  Reader.  Sassy.  Super intelligent.  Girly.  Princess.  Giggly.  Loyal.  Teenager.  Planner.  Sweet.  Trendy.  Inquisitve.  Scientist. 

Happy Birthday, Diva!  I love you lots!

Mother Nature is providential.  She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.  ~William Galvin

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What matters is that you had fun, right?

The Diva was in a horse show today.  Two levels – dressage and jumping.  She, unfortunately, didn’t do very well in either of them.  She actually got eliminated because her horse refused three times on a jump.  This is the first time she hasn’t placed in a competition, and she was VERY upset.

She said she was mostly embarrassed.  She finished the course even though she was eliminated, and for that, I am very proud of her.

You'd like me to jump over WHAT?

You'd like me to jump over WHAT?

Um, no thanks.  Can we just go around?

Um, no thanks. Can we just go around?

Fine.  If I go over it will you feed me and put my blanket back on me?

Fine. If I go over it will you feed me and put my blanket back on me?

This is what I think of it all.

This is what I think of it all.

 

Be wary of the horse with a sense of humour.
    – Pam Brown

Fumbled Friday

Dear front end folks at the grocery store,

I am really sorry about the mess I made.  I should know better than to try to “help” so early in the morning.  On the upside, who knew a 12 pack of Pepsi One hitting the floor looked so much like fireworks?

Seriously though, the fact that you all did not treat me like the loser I am,  made my day.

Sincerely,

Your worst customer today

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Dear Wal*hell patrons,

There are a lot of us in the store lately – you know, with the holidays and all.   A little consideration for your fellow shoppers is all I’m asking.   Perhaps moving your cart off to the side while you are looking at the Beer Can Chicken Cooker would be appreciated by most other folks trying to get around you and get to the important stuff – like haircolor.   Which I need to cover the gray casued by jackasses like you.

Merry Christmas!

Sincerely,
The One who colors her hair
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Dear teller at the bank,

You seriously pissed me off today and you were the start to the rest of my fantastical morning. (See above).

You know me.   You know my account has enough money to cover the check I was trying to cash.   You know I have cashed those types of checks every two weeks for as long as I’ve had an account with you and they HAVE NEVER NOT CLEARED.   Never.   Not once.   Why today did you decide that you would not cash it for me because “it’s not a local check”?   You knew I couldn’t really make a scene at the drive through window, so now I’m going to have to go back down there this afternoon when the lobby is open. After I’ve taken care of the gray which you have contributed to.

Sincerely,
The One who is coming back to complain this afternoon
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Dear folks at Dunkin Donuts,

You don’t always make me happy.   But today?  You got it just right.   I am thankful for that because then I didn’t have to kill you.   Since you were my last stop, one more issue might have pushed me over the edge and I’m really glad that didn’t happen.   You rock.   For today.

Sincerely,
The Medium French Vanilla regular

Ten years old

My little man is ten years old today.

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Swimmer.  Baseball player.  Hockey lover.  Mathematician.  Music lover.  Comedian.  Empathetic.  Sensitive.  Inquisitive.  Intelligent.  Cuddly.  Loving.

Mom loves you very much!  Happy Birthday, Captain!

Clever father, clever daughter; clever mother, clever son.  ~Russian Proverb

And so it begins

The Diva got her  birthday presents from grandma yesterday.  So far this is what I’ve heard this morning:

Blah, blah, blah, Edward.  Blah, blah, Bella.  Blah, blah, blah, Edward and Bella.  I would fill in all the other words but there is just not enough space here.  She is completely obsessed already.

Oh.my.god.

I may have created a monster.

Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain. ~ Bella