Dear front end folks at the grocery store,
I am really sorry about the mess I made. I should know better than to try to “help” so early in the morning. On the upside, who knew a 12 pack of Pepsi One hitting the floor looked so much like fireworks?
Seriously though, the fact that you all did not treat me like the loser I am, made my day.
Sincerely,
Your worst customer today
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Dear Wal*hell patrons,
There are a lot of us in the store lately – you know, with the holidays and all. A little consideration for your fellow shoppers is all I’m asking. Perhaps moving your cart off to the side while you are looking at the Beer Can Chicken Cooker would be appreciated by most other folks trying to get around you and get to the important stuff – like haircolor. Which I need to cover the gray casued by jackasses like you.
Merry Christmas!
Sincerely,
The One who colors her hair
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Dear teller at the bank,
You seriously pissed me off today and you were the start to the rest of my fantastical morning. (See above).
You know me. You know my account has enough money to cover the check I was trying to cash. You know I have cashed those types of checks every two weeks for as long as I’ve had an account with you and they HAVE NEVER NOT CLEARED. Never. Not once. Why today did you decide that you would not cash it for me because “it’s not a local check”? You knew I couldn’t really make a scene at the drive through window, so now I’m going to have to go back down there this afternoon when the lobby is open. After I’ve taken care of the gray which you have contributed to.
Sincerely,
The One who is coming back to complain this afternoon
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Dear folks at Dunkin Donuts,
You don’t always make me happy. But today? You got it just right. I am thankful for that because then I didn’t have to kill you. Since you were my last stop, one more issue might have pushed me over the edge and I’m really glad that didn’t happen. You rock. For today.
Sincerely,
The Medium French Vanilla regular